Ranking Scott Boras’ free agency puns from the 2022 MLB GM meetings


During meetings with MLB CEO Wednesday, agent Scott Boras had a lot to say about many of his clients from free agent madness underway. To spice things up a bit, Boras prepared some puns to help sell his customers a little more than usual.

Boras spent quite a bit of time with reporters and shared some creative updates on the status of free agency in general, as well as specific players. Boras gave some interesting answers about Xander Bogaerts, Carlos Correa and many of the top free agents of the offseason.

Because Boras put so much effort into most of his answers, we decided to rank them from best to worst. See which Boras puns landed and which took longer in the oven.

All of these quotes are courtesy of ESPN’s Alden Gonzalez.which transcribed some of Boras’ most notable responses.

1. On the level of interest in short-stop Xander Bogarts

“This is the first time teams have the chance to sign an X-Man. I think they see this as a wonderful opportunity. Xander has a very famous uncle, Humphrey, and he definitely left in his memoirs: “The Kid”. , a lot of teams will be looking at you.”

As someone who has tickets to the premiere of Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, I can certainly appreciate the first half of this answer. Then Boras went the extra mile and added a reference to Humphrey Bogart. He definitely watched it a few times before throwing it in front of the reporters.

2. How James Paxton exercised his one-year option to stay in Boston.

“Sometimes it’s better to take six packs than to look for champagne.”

To be honest, it’s just common sense. Instead of chasing big money in the free agent market, which he may or may not have received, Paxton opted to secure $4 million from the Red Sox for the 2023 season. We can all learn something from this.

3. About teams looking at pitcher Carlos Rodon

“Last year, the thought group chose Rawdon. And this year, Rodon created another masterpiece. And I think in the marketplace, his definition of museum-grade art is now clearly understood by the teams.”

At the risk of turning Boras’ pun into a pun, it was a joke of a thinking man. There is nothing wrong with adding some art and culture to your life. This is another joke where I can appreciate the level of work Boras put into it beforehand.

4. On the level of interest in pitcher Taijuan Walker

“Taijuan is on an island, and I guess the only question is, who wants Taipei?”

It was some kind of fatherly joke, and although I’m not a father, it sounds like my own father would try to do it. I also like that it shows Boras’ knowledge of world geography. Someone noticed at school.

5. About what teams get Brandon Nimmo

“There are a lot of teams in the free agent market that are looking for a center fielder. Anyone from Pixar will be lucky to find Nimmo.”

We have another mention of Disney property from Boras. The mouse really controls almost everything. It may not be as good as the X-Men crack above, but it absolutely works. Now, if only Mets fans can do like Dory and forget about that postseason performance.

6. In the free agency market in general

“The free agent market is, in many ways, a carnivore market. Many varieties are available. As for the owners menu, they lean more towards filet mignon and wagyu than burgers and vegans.”

While not the most creative joke in Boras’ arsenal, it paints a good picture of what MLB could look like in the offseason. Let’s hope this comes to fruition and fans see teams compete for the best players in the game.

7. On the Rangers’ free agency spending

“I don’t think they look at Texas and say they have slackers.”

I’m not sure if Boras is referring to the Rangers’ actual roster or how much money they’re willing to throw away at leeway. If it’s the former, he must lie. If that’s the last thing I’m guessing, Texas might be ready to make a splash and take a big step forward next summer.

8. Another answer about Bogarts

“It’s sort of an X marking a spot on the Sierra Madre treasure map.”

Bogart’s first joke was better. Get out while you’re ahead, Scott. You should know what.

9. On what Carlos Correa can bring to the team

“So you are a franchise brand. You are Dior on the defensive. You are Hermes on a roll. You are Louis V in leadership. championship designer.

It seems like Boras is really pushing Correa, but is it necessary? It looks like Correa would be very interesting even if Boras didn’t compare him to luxury brands. Besides, there doesn’t seem to be a good pun here, unless it’s gone out of my head.

10. Updates on players for whom Boras has or has not prepared jokes.

“Dude, I need that kind of left-handed pitcher.” (Sean Manea)

“It’s just not Boydish that I need a guy like that.” (Matthew Boyd)

“He just has all the bells and whistles.” (Josh Bell)

“He’s kind of the Return of Mike, a free will hit.” (Michael Conforto)

“Profar, so good.” (Yurikson Profar)

I don’t think Boras prepared the answers for these players and he just put them together at the last minute. The joke with Manea really stands out because he concocted it on the spot. News about Matthew Boyd in the same vein.

Source: www.cbssports.com